HostBlog - incoherent ramblings of a hosting provider.

16/2/2008

Impressive Household Gadget…

Filed under: Humour — Othello @ 3:48 pm
  • Are household chores cutting into your social life ?
  • How many important calls have you missed whilst doing laundry ?
  • Dont want to take two appliances into the utility room ?

Then you need …. An Iron Phone

iron phone image

Cleverly combining two of a womans favourite things ( ironing and talking ) into one handy little tool - yes the Iron-Phone really is the social-life saver you have been waiting for.

Now you need never miss that crucial chat with someone you’ll see in person later anyway, about the spotty guy from work and his small dinkle problem …

With 30 minutes of steaming, and 11 hours of talktime on a single charge, it’s powerful enough for even the most dedicated follower of fashion …

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2/2/2008

Muff Diving Survival Gear (NSFW)

Filed under: Humour — Othello @ 9:25 pm

This just amused me :D

snorkel

(more…)

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26/1/2008

Fashion Accessories for Geeks

Filed under: Internet, General Procrastination — Othello @ 8:52 pm

I like gadgets - devices to perform a specific function/purpose, to make my life easier, more enjoyable, or just different.

I’m not alone in this - which is why every high-street has a gadget-shop of some kind.

Sadly the human brain is wired so you can only think one of:

  • “bling” is fashionable
  • technology is clever
  • voting Liberal Democrat is a good idea

Sadly, those always on the lookout for stupid people to buy utter crap for lots of money (aka snake-oil peddlers or marketers), have decided to once again combine tasteless “bling-bling” and hi-tech wizardry into the absolutely F-ing stupid concept that is …

The Google Vanity Ring

Yes, now you can look an utter prat and billy-no-mates at exactly the same time, simply by (more…)

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12/1/2008

How to give yourself brain damage

Filed under: Internet, General Procrastination — Othello @ 5:01 pm

(or at least cause an epileptic fit)
Chuck together

  • One dark room
  • 100 helium filled balloons
  • 100 white LEDs
  • Some string and servos
  • Music by a Kraftwerk Addict

This simple formula of light, sound and acrobatic bubbles by designers “Electric MoOns” is either a masterpiece, or an experiment in causing people to up-chuck - you decide …


Electric MoOns Atom Dance Video

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7/1/2008

The most punchable Housemate ever !

Filed under: Business, Humour, Internet, General Procrastination — Othello @ 12:04 am

“Punchable” is how the tabloids have been describing online scammer Liam Young of OXYUK.

For those that missed his entry into the Big Brother House here’s the video summary …
Habitual Liar Liam Young Enters The Big Brother House

And for completeness sake, here’s link to the video of the lttle bollock-sucker getting evicted from the Big-Brother-House …
Liam Young BB Con Artist Gets Booted

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4/1/2008

Big Brother and the Deluded Web Host

Filed under: Business, Humour, Internet, General Procrastination — Othello @ 10:00 pm

Well, C4’s Big Brother series has started again, with a selection of Endemol hand-picked “characters” to represent a cross section of the UK’s up-and-coming lads and lasses … presumably some attempt by the program makers to “appeal” to a new audience, as the viewing figures continue to decline.

One of the contestants (HouseMates as they’re called) is getting oxycuted by blogs and forums - Mr Liam Young of OxyUK / OxyTechnologies / OxyMorons etc…

I bumped heads with this pOXY muppet back when he was 16, claiming

We currently serve over 70,000 UK customers, and over 10,000 users from worldwide locations

which actually translated into

I’m a shitty little unknown affiliate for Lycos and I get paid a few $ if you sign-up under me

see Liam Young of OXYUK.Ltd

the following day he’d moved the few real clients he had and magically transformed into being a HostGator reseller
Oxy just a HG Reseller

18 months later business is going so well, on some forums he’s claiming 2 million domains on his servers, and on others he’s begging for $2 support jobs … Please employ me

You’d think someone with millions of domains, would be a Nominet member (www.nic.uk) rather than just a 1und1 customer … http://webwhois.nic.uk/cgi-bin/whois.cgi?query=oxyhost.co.uk

After getting shortlisted for the role on BB as an entrepreneur, he then reappears on the same forum that banned him for his bulshit last time - WebHostingTalk.com, asking How to lie about Turnover

The general thread on WHT is good background …
http://www.webhostingtalk.com/showthread.php?t=660543


Various forums are all now getting cross-posted to each other, the now (almost) infamous Liam Young Big Brother Celebrity Hijack Lier Housemate is getting discussed over on DigitalSpy

As yet unconfirmed - and I REALLY am not going hunting for evidence on this - but there are multiple posts and comments about Liam Young doing himself Anal’y with a glowstick dildo - *nice* !

The DS:BB thread is already over 5 pages long, and currently if you’re not a member shows multiple adverts for gay dating agencies throughout the threads on Liam - do they know something we dont perhaps ?

*edit* I just checked back after fixing a typo and the DS:BB thread is touching *twenty-nine* pages !

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2/1/2008

Google begins plans for replacing life-on-Earth…

Filed under: Domains, Humour — Othello @ 1:43 am

Deep in an underground bunker, mad scientist geeks are working night and afternoon (real geeks are like vampires, alergic to sunlight) on the next google launch …

ANDROIDS

This week the big-G registered and drop-caught a number of new domains now sitting on the G’s nameservers including…

  • androidhandset.com
  • androidhandsets.com
  • androidmobile.com
  • androidphone.com
  • androidphones.com
  • androidplatform.com
  • androidsdk.com
  • androidsoftware.com
  • androidtechnology.com

Plus all the usual org/net variations.

No official comment has been made yet about the rumoured launch of the first human looking g-phone.

Personally I’m hoping it looks a lot like a cross between the current bionic woman, seven-of-nine and Caprica-6 with big buttons :D

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23/12/2007

Goodbye 2007

Filed under: Business, Humour — Othello @ 2:23 pm

Well, it’s almost the end of the year, so in every industry it’ll be Lists and Resolutions for a while now…

The constant dross is on the goggle-box, designed either to make you conform, or simply to confirm that 99% of viewers are brain-dead like…

  • 100 most unappaling songs ever
  • 100 mind-numbing sports personalities
  • 100 most repeated comedy moments
  • 100 innuendos from a-n-other gay icon
  • 100 worst farts left in a lift
  • 100 ways to kill yourself over a list

etc.

Now normally I have enough to-do lists of my own to worry about, and that kind of cr@p gets well avoided, however the annual round-up of business c*ck-ups from Fortune magazine does at least hold some elements of humour… And CNN have kindly stuck it online for those of you who don’t normally read mags - the ones with *those* pictures in doesn’t really count as reading now does it - no matter how good the articles ;)

#16

While working on an article about Microsoft, Wired contributing editor (and former Fortune writer) Fred Vogelstein receives a 13-page dossier about himself, describing him as “tricky” and his stories as “sensational.” The document, prepared by the company’s public relations firm, Waggener Edstrom Worldwide, as background for Microsoft executives, was sent inadvertently to the writer

Quoted from CNN/Fortune Magazie

Fortune and The Business are well worth the ~£3/issue - go on, skip a starbucks to buy a copy and get some knowledge inside you, rather than brown slop that tastes like tarmac.

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11/4/2007

New Web2.0 social site draws a crowd

Filed under: Internet, E-Commerce, General Procrastination — Othello @ 2:45 pm

Newcomer to the web2.0 scene, and quite obviously looking to cash-in on the social discussion (group-blogging) concepts is
myLot.

With a slightly different take on the “value of a user”, and knowing they need to play a very serious game of catchup, myLot are prepared to pay you a SMALL amount of their revenue (derived from PPC SE results etc) for your posts and discussions.

Obviously the plan is to bribe millions of users with pennies each to sign up and then flog the whole thing to Goooogle for millions, but at least if you’re going to waste/invest time in one of these modern equivalents of a bulletin-board, you might as well get paid to do it !

myLot User Profile

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12/2/2007

Life’s a b!tch, but if you want real pain, try a divorce from someone with PAS.

Filed under: General Procrastination — Othello @ 2:18 am

Well, sadly after 12 happy years, and a couple of really bad ones since she went do-lally, my wife is divorcing me, on the grounds on “unreasonable behaviour”. The “unreasonable” bit being me not allowing her to go off with my children and the new boyfriend whilst continuing to spend money-like-water on my credit-cards.

So the marriage is over officially rather than just actually now. Nisi pronounced, Absolute coming unless I argue the case, I have grounds to, but why would I want to stay married for another 5 years to a woman who’d rather be with another bloke, who was a complete Tosser when I met him 20 years ago, and by all accounts hasn’t improved over the years. So far, to try and get a quick divorce and large financial settlement she’s tried… (more…)

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23/12/2006

Going Green, Recycling, Planting trees and Reducing Carbon

Filed under: General Procrastination — Othello @ 9:11 pm

Carbon Dioxide emissions are thought to be a contributor to the (as yet unproven) Green House Effect and something many people are worried about.Despite scientists spending half of the last 30 years trying to convince us of a 2nd Ice-Age on its way, they’re now claiming the exact opposite.

We have no idea which of the 2 extremes are correct or even if either of them are remotely possible. We do however know that the quality of air (and overall level of Oxygen) in the UK is continually dropping.

This is largely to do with recycling. You can forget most of what the slightly strange and mostly brain-dead green brigade will tell you - recycling is *BAD*.

(more…)

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28/1/2006

Famous (dead) comedians best sketches redone for the techno-age

Filed under: Humour — Othello @ 3:11 am

If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were still alive, their infamous comedy sketch “Who’s on First?” might have turned out something like this …

Costello telephones a computer retail chain picked from the Yellow Pages

ABBOTT: Super-Duper Computer Sales. How can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I’m setting up an office in my den and I’m thinking about buying a computer.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: Your computer?

COSTELLO: I don’t own a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT: Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you, my name’s Lou.

ABBOTT: What about Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don’t know. What will I see when I look at the windows?

ABBOTT: Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.

ABBOTT: Software for Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals track expenses and run my business. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?

ABBOTT: I just did.

COSTELLO: You just did what?

ABBOTT: Recommend something.

COSTELLO: You recommended something?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: For my office?

ABBOTT: Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT: Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!

ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let’s just say I’m sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?

ABBOTT: Word.

COSTELLO: What word?

ABBOTT: Word in Office.

COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue “W”.

COSTELLO: I’m going to click your blue “w” if you don’t start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: That’s right. What do you have?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What’s bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT: Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.

COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?

ABBOTT: One copy.

COSTELLO: Isn’t it illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

Fast Forward to a few days after delivery…

ABBOTT: Super-Duper Computer Sales. How can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on “START”…….

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30/12/2005

A perfect husband

Filed under: Humour — Othello @ 4:08 am

There are several men sitting around in the changing room of a private health club after exercising.
Suddenly a mobile on one of the benches rings. One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:
(more…)

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1/10/2005

New service will *PAY* you to help bankrupt e-marketers …

Filed under: Internet, E-Commerce, General Procrastination — Othello @ 12:28 pm

Yes it’s true - you can finally earn some money for doing almost nothing and help good causes at the same time - a bit like the lottery without having to splash out £1 on a ticket …

Already successful with their Free Auction Service where scammers and spammers get to buy stuff of each other all day, now StormPay will actually pay you real spendable money to part brain-deads from their ca$h …

(more…)

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